The Thankful Project

My darling friend Lisa tagged me in a thing where you write about stuff you're thankful for. I am very thankful to have a reason to blog today! So let's see.

1. A person

 

 I'm sure everyone expected this but obviously it's my girlfriend. She is the sweetest and most beautiful person to me and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. I kept scrolling up while writing this post to look at this picture again because she is SO PRETTY  <3

2. A role you’ve played

 I kept trying to think of a really interesting 'role' I've played in my life (sister? girlfriend? fangirl?) but I couldn't think of anything I wanted to write about so I decided to interpret it very literally and say that I'm very thankful to have played the role of angel for a photoshoot when I worked at a costume design company. Really I just wanted to post this picture of teenage-me as an angel.

3. A place

Maison Rouge. My grandparents bought this beautiful 300 year old farm in the French countryside in the 60s and made it into a true little paradise. All of my summers were spent there as a child, but I grew unbelievably bored of it as a teenager when all I wanted was to travel to places I hadn't been before and go on wild adventures. Now that I am becoming old and boring however, I love this place more than anything. I've stayed there with my friends for the past two years, and it gave me the chance to discover the house and the beautiful surroundings in a whole new way. It is a beautiful and peaceful place and I can't wait to go back there next summer.

4. An experience

Seeing The Darkness in Liverpool. When I was 17, I spent a lot of my time on a fan forum about Dan Hawkins from The Darkness. They were about to do their last gig of the tour in Liverpool, and everyone in the fandom was either going or constantly crying about how they weren't going. I was in the latter category. Two days before the gig, just as I was coming to terms with the fact that I would have to just live vicariously through my friends that were going to be there, someone offered me a free ticket. She was going to go with her boyfriend, but they'd split up and he'd told her to go with a friend instead. What happened in between isn't pretty, so I'll fast forward to the moment when I set foot in England for the first time in my life, saw my favourite band playing what was going to be one of their last gigs before they (temporarily) broke up, and took this picture with Dan. I flew home the next morning without sleeping and floated on a happy cloud made of Darkness for the next few months.

5. A talent you have

Making stuff. I haven't done enough of that lately, but I used to constantly sew fishbags and weird dolls. I made this little fucker inspired by a Mika video and then took him with me everywhere for a few months and took pictures of him doing everything I did. This is him ice skating behind my grandma's house.

6. A failure

 Dropping out of fashion school. This is me in front of the Amsterdam Fashion school I went to for a year an a half, posing in an outfit I made/styled for an assignment. I learned quite a few things in the first year, but in the end it made me incredibly miserable and I'm glad I could step away from this extremely toxic environment, even if it meant giving up my dream of becoming The Darkness' personal stylist......

7. Words 

 Even for this one I could find a relevant picture! Me and Oscar Wilde in Dublin last summer ;) I am very thankful for all of his beautiful words, of course he is responsible for many funny witty quotes but my favourites are lines that are just beautiful like a painting can be beautiful.

The world has changed because you are made of ivory and gold,
the curves of your lips rewrite history 

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Put out the torches, hide the moon, hide the stars
 
8. A photo

Best friend, girlfriend and myself in Southampton all covered in glitter about to see a Bowie tribute band. I'm wearing a Darkness top. So many good things. 

9. A memory

 Getting my first tattoo. Here a real ladybird came to say hi to it. I was 19 when I got it, and even though I it's not perfect and needs some touching up it still means a lot to me because it was one of the first decisions I really made for me.

10. An opportunity    

Studying in Southampton for a year. This picture of me and my parents was taken on the ferry to Dover on the day I moved to England. It was a beautiful year and it changed my life forever. I miss Southampton so much and I can't wait to go back next week to see my girlfriend.

Everybody have a good time, everybody have a crush

I reckon it's time for an update with pictures! And the best kind of picture is a slightly creepy, heavily edited webcam selfie.

As some of you may know I have acquired a girlfriend:

 
 Her name is Cat and she is amazing. Basically I'm one of those annoying happy people who is in love now

Also, I went to see The Darkness 3 times! Do I even need to tell you that it was amazing and worth flying home to Amsterdam and driving all the way to Manchester in an English car?

I had a nice chat with Justin in Amsterdam. Note the fist of Queen.

Then I went to Manchester and was finally reunited with the amazing Dan Hawkins

And then I went to London and drank wine on some steps with my friend George and then Ed Graham showed up. My face has disappeared unfortunately.

Manchester was not only a Darkness adventure, it was also an Anna, Cécile, Babs and Rose adventure (the theme of this post is pictures of me with beautiful people)

And this is me and my housemate Melanie at a really cool 60s-themed party called Itchy Feet. I seem to have taken some bad acid and turned blue.

 

And last and also least this is me in Paris before Christmas, photographed by Lisa. My outfit is semi-awesome if I may say so myself.

You Put Me In The Magic Position

Today is a beautiful sunny day to match my sunny and positive mood! Last Wednesday I went to see Patrick Wolf, and I was really blown away by how amazing he was. He is one of those artists that I've known about for years and years, and I always enjoyed his music when I came across it but I've just never completely got into him for no particular reason. When Lisa told me he was going to be playing in Southampton I decided I was going to go and see if maybe he would convert me into an actual fan if I saw him life, and itt turned out the gig was actually in the university concert hall, 10 minutes away from my house! I was into it right away, he is one of the most sympathetic and interesting artists I've seen in a long time and his music is just beautiful and unique and wonderful.

Another significant thing that happened this week is the discovery of the above picture. It has inspired me massively to write a collection of surreal poems about fish. I've been writing a lot lately since my creative writing module has started, in fact I've just finished my first assignment that I might put up here later. It's about the time I spent in the magic land of witches and talking skeletons (my childhood). 

Also, very soon I'll have exciting Darkness adventures to share with you all! Three gigs of my beloved favourite band coming up in the next three weeks or so.

Enjoy the sunshine, and if it is raining remember what Percy Shelley wrote: 

"Oh wind, if winter comes, can spring be far behind?"

The end is near

I'm getting into video blogging. Decide for yourself whether or not that's a good idea. I hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas!

Everybody have a good time

I haven't blogged in forever! I have a rather good excuse though: I was in hibernation writing essays and music reviews. I did however also do a few fun things and wear some nice outfits. First of all my spectacular Halloween look from when my darling friend Cécile came to visit (I am the one in the blonde wig, I thought that was obvious but people actually didn't recognise me)

And this is what I wore on the Halloween night out with the LGBT society:

 

 And finally this is me ready to go out with my housemates :)

Southampton is treating me very well, it continues to be full of beautiful experiences with beautiful people as well as trashy nights out in trashy places and Gangnam Style nights in with my housemates.

Another piece of excellent news is that good old The Darkness are touring again next year and if everything goes according to plan I will see them 4 times! As I mentioned in a previous post, they mean a huge deal to me so plans to go and see them are never just a bit of fun, they're more like ridiculous pilgrimages. Also I've got a few exciting gigs coming up that I'll be writing about for The Edge! 

Tomorrow I will finally get around to buying a new camera that I actually got for my birthday about two weeks ago, which will mean loads more pictures of all my hopefully fabulous outfits!

Last but not least, here is a video about my beautiful, classy neighbourhood:

A Light in The Darkness

About 8 years ago, I turned 16 and my uncle came round to give me a present. It was a cd. To be precise, it was The Darkness first album Permission to Land which had just been released a few months earlier. I spent the entire next day wandering around the house on my own, and sometime during the afternoon I remembered I had a new record to listen to. When I put it on, and those first few chords of Black Shuck started, I was immediately intrigued. I hadn't necesarrily expected anything one way or the other, just that going by what I'd heard about this new retro glam/hard rock band I'd probably enjoy their music at least a bit, but I certainly hadn't counted on the fact that this album would change every single thing about my life. I listened to the album a few times, and I just really, really, really liked it. I looked up stuff about the band on the internet, developed a crush on their guitarist Dan Hawkins, and from then on when someone asked me who my favourite band was I would say 'The Darkness!' without skipping a beat.
Gradually this appreciation turned into a fully fledged obsession. When I had finished high school, I took a year off because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and within the first few months of this rather boring time, my high school sweetheart dumped me. It's fair to say I was going through a proper identity crisis. If I wasn't going to uni, didn't have a job beside delivering mail 2 mornings a week, lived with my parents and didn't have a boyfriend, WHO ON EARTH WAS I EVEN? I cried for a while, and then one day I was working and had a stack of Oor music magazines to deliver. On the cover was my good old favourite band The Darkness promoting their second album One Way Ticket To Hell... And Back. As soon as I'd finished my round, I cycled to the local record store and bought the album, and I listened to it as I was laying on the floor in my parent's living room. I had found my new identity, it was that of Darkness-fan, and from then on the only thing that mattered to me was this band. I'd wake up and think 'why is it again that I'm so happy? OH WAIT THE DARKNESS EXISTS.' In the next few months I underwent a complete transformation. For the first time in my life I felt like I was doing something entirely because I wanted to, not to please people or to overcompensate for my low self-esteem, but just because I thought it was fucking awesome. On the day I ran away from home to fly to Liverpool on last notice to see the band, I wasn't the ever embarrassed victim of bullying, the ridiculous idiot that people only hung out with out of pity, I was the fucking star in my cowboy boots and black eyeliner, I was exactly where I wanted to be and as far as I was concerned I was going to stay there forever. In England, in a dark alley behind a music venue, with my favourite band.
In the following years The Darkness broke my hearts by splitting up, but they continued to influence everything I did in one way or another. Dan started a new band with whom I had some of the most amazing adventures any person on earth has ever had, I met some dear, dear friends, I got into various other bands like The Answer and The Ark who all changed my life in their own way, I went to fashion school and quit again, I travelled to England on my own several times, started studying English in uni, moved to Amsterdam, made more dear friends, fell in love a million times, I had amazing times and awful times, but unlike Before The Darkness, I felt that I was in control of my life. It certainly wasn't always easy defending my dearly beloved glamrockers to 'serious people who know a lot about music', but to me they were never a joke band. Their funniness, their humour and the way they are serious about being silly is what has inspired me so much, they taught me that it's ok to be a bit flamboyant and outrageous, to be a bit retro and a bit modern at the same time, to wear insane outfits and glitter and make stupid jokes, and if people don't understand what you are about then hey, it's their loss, they're missing out on the party.
The two things I've constantly wished for in the past years were always 1. for The Darkness to reform, and 2. living in England for a while. I'm listening to their new album right now, and moving to Southampton in 5 days. Within the first 2 weeks of living there I'll go and see 2 Darkness gigs. Sometimes, life can turn out at least a little like you want it to :)